Three years
ago, I embarked on a journey to a world that would not only consume me fully,
but would hold me captive and would never allow me to leave. Yes, I’m talking
about my first experience with K-pop and how it’s changed my life completely.
I’d just gotten off of work that night and the first thing I did was check my
Facebook notifications, like always. I had a few, most of them were replies to
comments I’d sent earlier that day and a few likes on a picture I’d posted, but
one stood out to me. It was a link to a video on YouTube, that was sent by a
close friend of mine, with an attached comment saying I just had to listen
to this song because it was so good, but I was instantly turned away from
it just because of its title.
The song was
called Lucifer and the thumbnail was of a guy with spiky hair wearing heavy
eye-makeup in a dark setting. Now, I’m a Christian and this friend really
wasn't so I was always kind of put off whenever she recommended music to me.
Since the song was called Lucifer, I figured it was another song that would
ridicule my religion or God, so I lied to her and said that I’d listen to it
after I’d woken up later that day. I didn't.
Every time I
got on Facebook, I saw that video link. In a way, it was haunting me. That guy
with the dark eyeliner always greeted me whenever I logged in, like he
desperately wanted me to listen to his song. But I didn't give in to him or his
anti-religious song. To me, God was first and I never let myself indulge in
anything that would ridicule him.
After a few
months, I started to get annoyed by this link. There was no way of getting rid
of it and no one had sent me any other links in a while. Sometimes, I just
wouldn't even log in because I was so ashamed of having this anti-Christian
music on my Facebook page. What if my mom or the people from church had seen
it? What would they think? I’m not one who cares about what people think of me,
but having someone believe I wasn't a Christian was unacceptable.
Finally,
after about three months, I clicked on the link out of curiosity. It turned out
to be an upbeat pop/electro song sung in Korean, a language I wasn't sure of at
the time, by five guys. I remember replaying the beginning over and over just
because the tutting section of the dance was so interesting. Sure, they were
saying Lucifer, but I ignored that because I didn't know exactly what they were
saying about Lucifer. They didn't look demonic either. In fact, they were
extremely attractive.
I listened
to Lucifer for a while, but eventually the song got old to me and I didn't care
for it as much anymore. I continued listening to the mainstream pop music of
America and underground metal until my sister started to show me music sung in
the same language as Lucifer. She was instantly hooked while I was rather
indifferent: the songs were ok but I didn't like them enough to actually listen
to them on a daily basis.
It went on
like this for several months. My sister made me listen to different songs and tried
to get me to love K-pop as much as she did. I still didn't have a feel for it,
at least, not until she showed me SHINee. Yes, I’d shown her the five member
K-pop group first, but only for the dance since she loved to learn new dances.
Now, she was showing me one of their older songs. I remember thinking where
have I heard this song before? while I listened to it. It was so familiar
and I nearly drove myself crazy trying to think of where I’d heard this song
from. Then, I remembered that it was originally a song sung by an actor that
eventually sold the song to SHINee. In the end, I was glad he did because I
instantly fell in love with it.
Not only did
I fall in love with that one song, I fell in love with them. My love for
them escalated to the point where I knew everything about them, including their
likes and dislikes or their pet peeves and odd habits. I even know things about
their childhood upbringing and their family’s names. It may seem a bit
obsessive from a non-K-pop fan’s point of view, but it’s not, especially for an
international fan.
Being an
international fan is difficult in many ways. You’re a world away from the group
you adore. Tours, fan meetings, live broadcasts, none of those events are
opened to you unless you live in Asia, or sometimes Europe. Learning everything
you can about your favorite K-pop group gives you a sense of closeness and
sometimes an understanding. Like knowing their backgrounds, knowing their
hardships as well as their achievements makes their life more relatable to your
own. Staying up until four in the morning just to stream their performances
online makes you feel like you’re really there in the crowd rooting for them.
Watching them smile and cry because they've won an award that you've voted for
gives you a sense of happiness because you helped them and they are sincerely
grateful to their fans. K-pop isn't just a hobby or just music, it’s a
lifestyle.
I’m proud to
be a K-pop fan, to be a fan of something that a lot of people don’t understand.
To them, K-pop is just a bunch of Asians singing and dancing. To me and other
fans, it’s so much more. Life for me has actually changed since I've become a
fan of K-pop. I've become more confident after hearing SHINee tell me that,
yes, I could succeed. Sure, they weren't talking directly to me, but to their
fans as a whole, and I listened. I look to them for support I can’t find in
friends or family. I recall the struggles they went through then look at where
they are now and think if they can achieve their goals, I can achieve mine. I
don’t ever regret becoming completely obsessed with K-pop and I don’t think I
ever will.
Side Note: This is the Lucifer Video~
