K-pop: The Beginning of an Obsession

Three years ago, I embarked on a journey to a world that would not only consume me fully, but would hold me captive and would never allow me to leave. Yes, I’m talking about my first experience with K-pop and how it’s changed my life completely. I’d just gotten off of work that night and the first thing I did was check my Facebook notifications, like always. I had a few, most of them were replies to comments I’d sent earlier that day and a few likes on a picture I’d posted, but one stood out to me. It was a link to a video on YouTube, that was sent by a close friend of mine, with an attached comment saying I just had to listen to this song because it was so good, but I was instantly turned away from it just because of its title.

The song was called Lucifer and the thumbnail was of a guy with spiky hair wearing heavy eye-makeup in a dark setting. Now, I’m a Christian and this friend really wasn't so I was always kind of put off whenever she recommended music to me. Since the song was called Lucifer, I figured it was another song that would ridicule my religion or God, so I lied to her and said that I’d listen to it after I’d woken up later that day. I didn't.

Every time I got on Facebook, I saw that video link. In a way, it was haunting me. That guy with the dark eyeliner always greeted me whenever I logged in, like he desperately wanted me to listen to his song. But I didn't give in to him or his anti-religious song. To me, God was first and I never let myself indulge in anything that would ridicule him.

After a few months, I started to get annoyed by this link. There was no way of getting rid of it and no one had sent me any other links in a while. Sometimes, I just wouldn't even log in because I was so ashamed of having this anti-Christian music on my Facebook page. What if my mom or the people from church had seen it? What would they think? I’m not one who cares about what people think of me, but having someone believe I wasn't a Christian was unacceptable.

Finally, after about three months, I clicked on the link out of curiosity. It turned out to be an upbeat pop/electro song sung in Korean, a language I wasn't sure of at the time, by five guys. I remember replaying the beginning over and over just because the tutting section of the dance was so interesting. Sure, they were saying Lucifer, but I ignored that because I didn't know exactly what they were saying about Lucifer. They didn't look demonic either. In fact, they were extremely attractive.

I listened to Lucifer for a while, but eventually the song got old to me and I didn't care for it as much anymore. I continued listening to the mainstream pop music of America and underground metal until my sister started to show me music sung in the same language as Lucifer. She was instantly hooked while I was rather indifferent: the songs were ok but I didn't like them enough to actually listen to them on a daily basis.

It went on like this for several months. My sister made me listen to different songs and tried to get me to love K-pop as much as she did. I still didn't have a feel for it, at least, not until she showed me SHINee. Yes, I’d shown her the five member K-pop group first, but only for the dance since she loved to learn new dances. Now, she was showing me one of their older songs. I remember thinking where have I heard this song before? while I listened to it. It was so familiar and I nearly drove myself crazy trying to think of where I’d heard this song from. Then, I remembered that it was originally a song sung by an actor that eventually sold the song to SHINee. In the end, I was glad he did because I instantly fell in love with it.

Not only did I fall in love with that one song, I fell in love with them. My love for them escalated to the point where I knew everything about them, including their likes and dislikes or their pet peeves and odd habits. I even know things about their childhood upbringing and their family’s names. It may seem a bit obsessive from a non-K-pop fan’s point of view, but it’s not, especially for an international fan.

Being an international fan is difficult in many ways. You’re a world away from the group you adore. Tours, fan meetings, live broadcasts, none of those events are opened to you unless you live in Asia, or sometimes Europe. Learning everything you can about your favorite K-pop group gives you a sense of closeness and sometimes an understanding. Like knowing their backgrounds, knowing their hardships as well as their achievements makes their life more relatable to your own. Staying up until four in the morning just to stream their performances online makes you feel like you’re really there in the crowd rooting for them. Watching them smile and cry because they've won an award that you've voted for gives you a sense of happiness because you helped them and they are sincerely grateful to their fans. K-pop isn't just a hobby or just music, it’s a lifestyle.

I’m proud to be a K-pop fan, to be a fan of something that a lot of people don’t understand. To them, K-pop is just a bunch of Asians singing and dancing. To me and other fans, it’s so much more. Life for me has actually changed since I've become a fan of K-pop. I've become more confident after hearing SHINee tell me that, yes, I could succeed. Sure, they weren't talking directly to me, but to their fans as a whole, and I listened. I look to them for support I can’t find in friends or family. I recall the struggles they went through then look at where they are now and think if they can achieve their goals, I can achieve mine. I don’t ever regret becoming completely obsessed with K-pop and I don’t think I ever will.


Side Note: This is the Lucifer Video~